Bathtime for Fee and Foo
by thomasfan101
Summary: When Fee and Foo's collective stench is too much, Miriam decides to finally give the twins a bath. But that's easier said than done.


It was a peaceful Tuesday morning in the Beaks household and Harvey, Claire and Dade were all sitting at the dining room table, drawing pictures (Kratz and Piri Piri were invited but they were sick and at the beach respectively).

"Okay," said Harvey when he had finished. "How are you guys coming along?"

"Just about done." replied Claire.

"Gimme a sec, I'm trying to get this arm right." said Dade as he put the finishing touches on his drawing. "Okay, done."

"Alright," said Harvey, "Let's see what we've got."

Harvey had drawn a picture of his family, Claire had drawn a picture of herself with (quite a muscular looking) Foo and Dade had drawn a very detailed picture of Harvey.

"Wow, those look pretty good." said Harvey.

Just then, Fee and Foo burst into the room. Fee seemed to be ticked off and Foo looked kinda sad.

Harvey, being the caring bird that he is, decided to ask the twins what was wrong.

"We were just walking around when this complete stranger came up to us and called us smelly!" replied Foo, almost on the verge of tears. "It wouldn't have been so bad if he was 100 yards away!"

"The nerve of some people!" said Fee as she knocked a book off the table in a fit of rage.

Harvey felt sorry that his friends had to go through such rudeness, Claire was upset to see Foo so upset and Dade didn't really care one way or another.

Fee looked at the floor for a moment and thought. She sighed and looked sadly back up at the others. "Guys, I think it's time you were honest with us." And so she raised her arms and asked, "Do we smell?"

"Yes" responded Dade, way too quickly.

Fee didn't realise Dade responded until halfway through her next sentence. "C'mon guys, just tell us, we can handle it, do we sme-What do you mean, yes?"

"Well, let me put it like this." started Dade. "If a dead man and a hobo had a baby and the baby puked and a dog ate the puke, you guys would smell like the rear-end of that dog!"

"Okay, that was just uncalled for!" snapped Fee. "Do you think we smell bad, Claire?"

Claire just looked at Foo and had one of her mini anime fantasies for about 2 seconds before snapping out of it and saying "Well, I think Foo smells nice regardless."

"Thanks Claire." said Foo, completely oblivious to the fact that Claire was crushing on him big time.

Fee then looked at Harvey.

"Well," said Harvey, nervously, "I'm not saying that you DO smell but, uhhhhhhhhhh, when was the last time you took a bath?"

"About yesterday." said Fee.

Harvey breathed a sigh of relief.

"Wait, does swimming in the lake count?" asked Fee.

"Not really, no." replied Harvey.

"Then I'm not sure." said Fee. "Never, I guess."

Harvey couldn't help but facepalm.

Just then, Miriam walked into the room.

"Hey kids, I brought you some cookies." and she put a plate of cookies in the middle of the table.

"Thanks Mom." said Harvey.

"Thanks Mrs. Beaks, you have no idea how much I appreciate this." added Claire (she wasn't allowed to have cookies at home).

"Fee and Foo shouldn't get any cookies." complained Dade. "They never take any baths!"

This made Miriam slightly annoyed. "If anyone shouldn't get any cookies, it's you. Maybe the twins are a little scruffy but that's no excuse for rudeness or accusations."

"He's right though," said Foo. "We've never taken a bath."

Fee punched Foo in the head slightly. "Dude, shut up." she whispered.

Miriam looked over to the twins. "Is that so?"

Fee didn't answer, she just looked guiltily down at her feet.

"In that case, I think you've been putting it off for long enough. It's high time that you two took a bath. I know it might seem weird and scary at first but you'll soon see how much fun bathtime is. I'll even let you use Harvey's old rubber ducky if you want..."

"Mom," interrupted Harvey, "I really hate to interrupt you but the twins ran out the door when you said the word, bath."

And sure enough, they were gone.

"That's it," said Miriam, "Time to get serious!"

And so, she took Harvey's old utility belt from his Night Maid days, strapped on some knee pads and grabbed a giant novelty butterfly net.

"Hey, you're using the giant butterfly net I bought. Not really a giant waste of money now, huh?" gloated Irving.

"Sweetie, not now." said Miriam.

Irving went back to his mancave to do some more knitting.

"Let me help you." said Harvey. "I know Fee and Foo better than anyone and I know this is what's best for them."

"Count me in." volunteered Dade. "It's high time those filthy animals took a bath and I want to be one of the people who gives it to them."

"Me too." said Claire as she started blushing. "I've always wanted an excuse to see Foo naked. - I didn't say that out loud, did I?"

Harvey, Dade and Miriam all decided that it would be best to ignore that.

"Okay, lets do this!" shouted Miriam (but not too loud, as she didn't want to wake the baby).

And with that, our brave heroes set off to find the twins and give them a good cleaning.

* * *

 **That's all I got so far. If I can think of anything, maybe I'll write more.**


End file.
